Stupid Boy!

[Grip Fast]

In a rush to get somewhere yesterday morning, but a good run on the bike, so up early and into the gear. Top box on and packed, quick check over the bike and wheel it out. Ignition on, clutch in (the Tiger requires this for starting), and...

Nothing!

Strange. No neutral indicator and trip blank, but everything else looks ok. Check it's really in neutral, clutch in and... Still nothing.

Bugger. No time to mess about. Wheel bike back in, change into civvies, unpack top box and transfer to car. Worry about it all day - start with simple things - fuse gone - but why??? Thinks it's still in gear, maybe (had that with the R1200S)???

Back home in the evening and itching to find out what's wrong with the stupid bike. Wheel it out, and see...

KILL SWITCH OFF! AAAARRGGH! Stupid boy.

[BoxerCup R]

Oh Mate, nightmare, Keep Calm and light the Kill Switch

[fontana]

One of those things we've all done at some stage, like pulling away with a disc lock in, and so on

[milleplod]

I got a call from a good friend in France a few months ago to say someone was coming to look at his zero-miles '07 GSA, but he couldn't get it to start....could I give him any pointers as to what might be the problem. I went through the list of usual suspects.... bad fuel (the bike's never been ridden), duff fuel pump, obscure electrical glitch, mice (!), everything. Well, everything except the bloody kill switch, which I remembered just in time - I called him as he was loading it onto his trailer to take to the dealer in Limoges, having put off the prospective buyer!

Sadly, he died just before Christmas. Its still in the garage - I've told his Mrs to leave the switch in the on position!

Pete

[slparry]

mate of mine left his side stand down and his Boxercup's starter turned over and over but refused to start He now has a notice in the garage to remind him to raise the stand before starting

[Hay Ewe^]

A very good friend of mine rode his Honda shadow to the local bicycle shop and parked out the front.
Got what he needed and headed back out.
Bike wouldn't start. Of course by now you know where this is going.
He went through the usual checks and concluded the battery.
Nearby is an independant moto dealership, so he goes there and gets a battery.
Calls his wife to bring in his tool kit.
changes the battery and it still doesnt start.

About 14:00 he calls me and asks if I have some jump leads
Both of the shops close at 12:00, so he has been working this for about 3 hours by now.

I arrive, he explains to me all that he has done and I ask him if he has checked the kill switch........

We havent talked about that since! - that wsa about 10 years ago!
(no it wasn't me pranking him)

[Grip Fast]

mate of mine left his side stand down and his Boxercup's starter turned over and over but refused to start He now has a notice in the garage to remind him to raise the stand before starting

I had an Aprilia Falco - great bike, but the clutch dragged when cold, and you had to give it a few revs above tickover to get it into first when starting out (or start downhill in neutral and snick into first when rolling). I went once to our UK head office in London on it, and at the end of a hard day, no doubt with security cameras watching, I was trying to get it into first without it stalling. It seemed much worse than usual, and no amount of blipping the throttle or holding steady revs was preventing it stalling.

I must have tried 7 or 8 times before I realised that the sidestand was still down and all I was doing was testing that the cut-out was working fine.

[fontana]

OK so this is now a "who's done the stupidest thing thread" ?
Fine.
I once put my XS1100's side stand down in a road drain.
I'd walked about 5 yards before I heard it crunch to the ground.
It got wedged solid in there and it took me and three other blokes to get it free.
Top That

[milleplod]

I fitted new pads all round to my lovely FJ1200 while it was parked on our drive - the drive slopes down to the road. Job done, I packed all my tools away neatly, gave everything a wipe over and then went indoors for a brew and to put my kit on ready for a ride. 15 mins later, I climb astride my pride and joy, fire her up, and let her start gently rolling down to the road.....speed increases.....I gently apply the front brake.....the lever comes back to the bars just as I realise I'm now doing what seems like 20mph, backwards My befuddled brain has just worked out what the problem is, but before I can pump the lever I've shot across the road and collided with the neighbour's brand new Punto. Kin ell, that took some living down!

pete

[fontana]

I fitted new pads all round to my lovely FJ1200 while it was parked on our drive - the drive slopes down to the road. Job done, I packed all my tools away neatly, gave everything a wipe over and then went indoors for a brew and to put my kit on ready for a ride. 15 mins later, I climb astride my pride and joy, fire her up, and let her start gently rolling down to the road.....speed increases.....I gently apply the front brake.....the lever comes back to the bars just as I realise I'm now doing what seems like 20mph, backwards My befuddled brain has just worked out what the problem is, but before I can pump the lever I've shot across the road and collided with the neighbour's brand new Punto. Kin ell, that took some living down!

pete

Talking FJ's
A friend of mine completely stripped and rebuilt the engine of one of those.
It took him a whole winter.
When he'd finished he was packing up and found something under a box.
It was the cam chain tensioner.
Doh

[Grip Fast]

Brilliant! I feel much better. The therapeutic effect of confession, knowing I'm not the only eejit, and having a bit of a laugh (sorry) at the misfortune of others.

And the winner is...

...Pete and the unpumped brakes. A story well told, full of action and taking out others too (the neighbour's car). Has it all.

Thanks.

[slparry]

Brilliant! I feel much better. The therapeutic effect of confession, knowing I'm not the only eejit, and having a bit of a laugh (sorry) at the misfortune of others.

And the winner is...

...Pete and the unpumped brakes. A story well told, full of action and taking out others too (the neighbour's car). Has it all.

Thanks.

actually thinking about it I have a confession in a similar vein. Previously here I've mentioned my R80RS that was left me by my uncle when he died. Uncle Les was a great fella, the closest I've known to a Dad, the best mate I've ever had and the guiding light that put me on the track of motorcycling.

When he was 21 he suffered a terrible accident whilst working as a coal miner. He was dragging onto a conveyor belt and a machine that crushed the coal took his left arm.

Undeterred he worked all of his life, refusing to take any benefits. He also continued his passion for motorcycling, having his artificial hand holding the left bar and a clutch attached to the twistgrip. His mate made some awesome model aircraft linkages to the dip switch and the indicators.

Anyway, at one point he surprised me by buying a Yamaha DT175 Monoshock (surprised 'cos I loved 2 strokes and he hated them) of course he needed the clutch transferring over which being a loyal nephew I volunteered to do. He used to use an elastic band to hold the original clutch lever "in place"

Job all done I proudly rode it down the garden path (which lead to the main road).

This is where it all went terribly wrong. Upon approaching the end of the path I of course pulled in the clutch, to stop the engine from stalling and the front brake to stop the bike. However, despite knowing the work I'd just done my brain refused to play ball and I pulled in the redundant left clutch lever (which was connected to nowt) and the lever I pulled from the right was the clutch not the brake so the bike still carried on rolling right into the middle of a very busy main road.

There was much squealing of tyres as vans, trucks and cars all braked hard to avoid the idiot, without a helmet, rolling across in front of them. I seem to recall the phrase "w*nker" being screamed at me

My uncle, well after initial panic at my plight he just stood on the path laughing at my situation

He often used to leave the keys in his bikes stating if they can ride it they can have it

[Humbug]

I remember having a set of heated inner gloves where the wires ran up my back and down the arms of my jacket where they clipped on to the inner gloves. The connector to the bike was an old DIN type plug which took a bit of getting apart. Parked outside a shop and hopped off the goldwing to grab something from the shop forgetting I was pretty well leashed to the bike. I was stopped in my tracks and had my arms suddenly shortened as I tried to pull a large hunk of metal into the shop. Looked a right c*ck to everyone in a busy street.

[fontana]

Back in the olden days, as we all know, training wasn't compulsory but the dealer I bought my first bike from, included a free "star rider" bronze beginners course.
Very much like todays CBT.
I was 18 and It was fair to say that I wasn't a natural rider.
So much so that my instructor was so concerned about me he escorted me home, which he didn't usually do.
Next day I ventured out into the streets of Whitton all excited, and was going along quite happily up the high street, when a Volvo slowed in front of me for a red light.
I just panicked and forgot where the brakes were.
Sailed right into the back of him.
The driver, as it turned out, was an off duty Police rider.