The weekly commute leaves my chain thick with crap, so a Sunday chore is cleaning for work on Monday, the bike onto the Abba stand, floor lined with newspaper, paraffin decanted into handy squeezy bottle, old toothbrushes and rag at the ready, chain lube warming in some hot water.
Front sprocket cover off and rear tyre covered, I spray paraffin along the chain whilst rotating the rear wheel and brushing the worst off as I go, once nice and clean I dry with old rags ( I`ve used my son`s T shirts when rags have been in short supply but he`s away at uni and I`ll blame his sister when he returns..
)Normally no bother, but, put it down to a senior moment or just being in a little world of my own, whilst drying the bottom `run` of the chain I moved the rag along the chain to the rear and heard a lovely `squelch` noise as the tip of my thumb was taken off by the rear sprocket...
Rotating the wheel to free thumb, I calculate 5 seconds before shock recedes and pain kicks in, wrong its 3, followed by copious quantities of the red stuff up the side of my bike...fight urge to pass out...
Run inside, upstairs over new carpet ( changed after the oily boot affair) desperately trying to not bleed over wife's new million pound a square meter carpet aware that a new chain and sprocket set is probably cheaper than the insurance excess, into bathroom for first aid kit.
First aid kit is in the peak District with daughter on Duke of Edinburgh walk...bottom of cabinet houses only a furry paracetamol and a small plaster with Woolworth's written on it, must clean wound, hinge back thumb tip, resist urge to faint and wash under tap....
Plaster is just big enough to cover a teenage spot so I`am scuppered there, need to act fast as bathroom floor is going red quickly, my head is spinning and my thumb is now throbbing like a 70`s Ducati on full choke.
Brain storm, I remember leaving some electrical tape in the airing cupboard after I electrocuted myself, so find that and tape thumb tip down, try not to pass out and wind extra tape around thumb to keep all in place, this would prove a big mistake later...
Feeling chuffed at the medical response its back into the garage to finish the job ( albeit one handed) its dark now, I tread on paraffin bottle spreading that over the garage floor the side of the freezer and the washing I`d promised to put in the tumble dryer.
Turning the light on also reveals the increasing wind had spread the dirty newspaper over next doors garden, the property section appears to be stuck to their dog....
All sorted just in time as my wife returns with my son, fresh back from uni, no doubt he`ll spot the clothing issue and my Daughter`s away...
"All Ok?" she shouts through to the garage, "I don`t need the car tomorrow, use it for work if you like".....oh for F.Sake...
Steve
